My Present State Of Mind

Sorry I abandoned my Blog. I've been going through a rough patch. Before I go on with what I planned on writing today, I wanted to update on how my Cinch five day cleanse went.

So, Cinch went really well. In five days, I lost eight pounds. I lost an inch off my waist. I have managed to maintain my weight since then and I plan on doing the cleanse again several times to aid in my weight loss goal. It's definitely a jump start in the right direction! :)

Now on to some deeper, heavier stuff.

I've been crying a lot lately. More than is probably healthy. I'm 26 years old and I feel like I've accomplished very little in my life. I make decent enough money and I enjoy my job. I've got a beautiful little girl who is my life. THOSE are my two accomplishments I am proud of.

BUT, I find this little ray of sunshine on occasion and it lasts for a little while. And instead of appreciating what I have, I get greedy. I want more. And then I start to distance myself which only makes things worse. Finally, I lose it. And I am back to ground zero. Nothing. Zilch. You know that saying "You don't know what you have til it's gone"? Well, it's true.

Basically, this all boils down to BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE! Because nothing lasts forever.

So... I am currently on a quest to better my life... I have settled most of my debt. Once my car and one last medical bill is paid off, I am in great shape. I've got a good credit score, which is, of course, important. I am determind... BOUND AND DETERMINED that I will have my own place within a year, be it a simple tiny place with just enough space for me and my little one, I am good with that. And I am totally fine with living on the bare necessities.  We don't NEED cable. We don't NEED the internet (Hello Panera and Starbucks! Free Wifi!) We just need a roof. I've got a decent amount of savings, now. Guess where my taxes go? Yep. Straight into savings.

And my health has become a top priority. I've been working out and eating better. My total weight loss goal is 40 lbs. That may sound like a lot... and very few people tend to believe this, but I am not ashamed to admit it. I am 180 pounds at only 5'3. I fall into Obese Class I. Just because I may carry it well for the most part does not make it any better. It needs to go. I need to be healthy for myself and for my daughter.

When I've accomplished this... then maybe I'll start seeking that ray of sunshine again. When there's a level of stability in my life that makes it easier for me to maintain that ray of sunshine without being greedy. I'm greedy because I'm unhappy. Stability will make me happy. It's what I *NEED* the most in my life.

Sorry for the mopey, less attitude hatred toward the world blog you got from me today. I promise plenty more shenanigans in the future. :)

\May the odds be ever in your favor!

Cinch Day Two

So I started day two of my five day cleanse. Surprisingly, I was not near as hungry yesterday as I thought I'd be. I'm very anxious for the end of this so I can weigh in. I'll post beginning and ending dates afterward.

I must admit, I've grown rather bored of raspberries really quickly. One cup of raspberries four times a day is exhausting. NOT TO MENTION extremely costly! I get a cup and a half of raspberries for five bucks. Which means I'd be spending 50 dollars alone on raspberries for five days!!!

So, today I switched it up a little bit. I tried not to stray too far because I want this to be effective. So I bought some blueberries and strawberries to throw into the mix. 

Still, I miss salt. My eggs were terribly bland this morning. But I'll make do. Only four days (including today) left to go!