Welfare-- Good or Bad?

I haven't stirred up a good debate in a while. :)

I briefly discussed this with a good friend a  few weeks ago over drinks. He had his opinions; I had mine. And I'm curious what the rest of you think. Let me start by saying I believe welfare is MOSTLY GOOD. It has it's pros and cons, like anything else. 

I've reached a point in my life where my day to day struggle of scraping by paycheck to paycheck has actually led me to apply for temporary state assistance. I balanced out my finances recently-- laid out my income and expenses; cay payment,  car insurance, cell phone, car maintenance and gas, babysitting, groceries and rent (including bills involved with rent like water and electric). I came to realize that once all my bills are paid in a week, I am left with 50 dollars. That is 50 dollars for emergency use or savings. Buying a home will cost more than what I currently pay in rent. My rent plus 50 bucks a week... that will never buy me a thing. My kiddo and I are doomed to rent for the entirety of our future, right? Wrong. This is where I accept the fact that I need help. 

I think welfare, if used correctly, is a great thing. For situations like mine, if I can get help for a year with food stamps or child care... that gives me a year I can put money I never had before into my savings account-- a year to find other sources of income-- a year to get my finances in order. And after that year, maybe just maybe... I will have saved enough to pay my car off. BAM! There's $80 less a week I have to spend. There's $80 a week on top of that 50 a week I had last year. I just increased my weekly income by EIGHTY BUCKS because I accepted help for a year. That's eighty dollars more I have I can put toward a home-- get out on our own and live life. 

But here's where I think state assistance becomes an issue; there aren't enough limitations. Obviously, some people aren't physically or mentally capable of working. They are the exceptions. But a healthy 24 year old woman with no kids... why should we be paying for her to live? She should be hunting for a job while receiving her assistance, not just living freely for her whole life. And proof of applying should be submitted to the state. Also, I think welfare should have a time limit (depending on the situation). In 6 month, 1 year, 2 year intervals, etc... Whatever fits the situation best. You've got two parents with three children, both unemployed. Give them a one year deadline to find jobs and then re-evaluate the case. If they still need help, ok! Help! And my last issue... food stamps. *sighs* Here is where I will make some people angry.

I work in the grocery business. I understand everyone wants to splurge some. But when I see a regular customer in several times a week buying lobster and t-bones or pre-made party platters on their food stamp card, it bugs the Hell out of me! I am paying for these people to live like royalty. And I can't even afford chicken on my 40 hours a week; let alone a surf 'n turf special! Now, in some situations... maybe this family went a few weeks eating really cheap stuff so they could afford a fancy dinner on their food stamp card. Okay--great.  But it's the ones you see EVERY DAY buying top of the line items that really get under my skin. Or the ones who roll through with an entire grocery cart full of Snickers and Diet Coke. WOW! I see my hard earned dollars are going somewhere really beneficial.

I believe food stamps should operate similar to WIC. There should be set items they cover. Shouldn't cover candy and sodas... or PARTY PLATTERS.  (Yell at me all you like.)

And lastly... drug testing. This is very controversial. There was a time I felt like drug testing should be required for welfare. But I never realized how expensive this kind of thing was. It would end up costing the state more by testing everyone than by just giving them the benefits their pay allows for. Also... let's say for example a meth loving mother of two applies for food stamps because she can't hold a job. She fails the drug test... and guess who suffers? Not the mom. She'll find other ways to get her drugs. But not these kids of hers aren't getting any food-- any insurance. The kids are suffering because their parents are idiots. Drug testing, while great in concept, only would create more issues. It would cost tax payers more to support the system, and we'd have more starving deprived children running around.

It's a sad situation, really. While I believe that Welfare is a great thing when used correctly, there are those handfuls of people who abuse the system that make it difficult on the rest of us. They make people like me (who haven't even received my benefits yet, as I've only JUST applied) look like we are parasites. So, yes... in my personal opinion, welfare is GOOD. It's a great thing to have for those in need. But I think the welfare program should be reviewed, revamped, rewritten... re-whatever... to make it more logical and practical for those on it, and those paying into it.

*steps off my soapbox* 
And how about you...?  :)

Something To Consider

WARNING: This is a rant. But a very true one everyone can learn from.

When someone does something you don't like-- and I don't mean just any someone.. a close friend, a significant other, or an immediate family member-- if you care about the relationship you have with that person, you should tell them. 

It is terribly unfair to hold a grudge against someones actions when they don't even know that they've done anything wrong. Grudges create bitterness. And when that person realizes you are bitter, but doesn't understand why, it creates tension, anger, and stress. Then they may try to do everything they can to make that go away. So they look for things to do for you... or go out of their way to try and make you happy. Or try to fix the problems in your life. But instead, every little thing this person does irritates you because you are angry at them. You're stressed-- simply because you are holding a grudge against them and never allowed them a fair chance to fix things in the first place. 

Grudges only make problems bigger. If you set out to fix problems right away-- rather than hold them against someone for a unbeknownst amount of time-- things tend to run much smoother. 

Rant over.  

My Present State Of Mind

Sorry I abandoned my Blog. I've been going through a rough patch. Before I go on with what I planned on writing today, I wanted to update on how my Cinch five day cleanse went.

So, Cinch went really well. In five days, I lost eight pounds. I lost an inch off my waist. I have managed to maintain my weight since then and I plan on doing the cleanse again several times to aid in my weight loss goal. It's definitely a jump start in the right direction! :)

Now on to some deeper, heavier stuff.

I've been crying a lot lately. More than is probably healthy. I'm 26 years old and I feel like I've accomplished very little in my life. I make decent enough money and I enjoy my job. I've got a beautiful little girl who is my life. THOSE are my two accomplishments I am proud of.

BUT, I find this little ray of sunshine on occasion and it lasts for a little while. And instead of appreciating what I have, I get greedy. I want more. And then I start to distance myself which only makes things worse. Finally, I lose it. And I am back to ground zero. Nothing. Zilch. You know that saying "You don't know what you have til it's gone"? Well, it's true.

Basically, this all boils down to BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE! Because nothing lasts forever.

So... I am currently on a quest to better my life... I have settled most of my debt. Once my car and one last medical bill is paid off, I am in great shape. I've got a good credit score, which is, of course, important. I am determind... BOUND AND DETERMINED that I will have my own place within a year, be it a simple tiny place with just enough space for me and my little one, I am good with that. And I am totally fine with living on the bare necessities.  We don't NEED cable. We don't NEED the internet (Hello Panera and Starbucks! Free Wifi!) We just need a roof. I've got a decent amount of savings, now. Guess where my taxes go? Yep. Straight into savings.

And my health has become a top priority. I've been working out and eating better. My total weight loss goal is 40 lbs. That may sound like a lot... and very few people tend to believe this, but I am not ashamed to admit it. I am 180 pounds at only 5'3. I fall into Obese Class I. Just because I may carry it well for the most part does not make it any better. It needs to go. I need to be healthy for myself and for my daughter.

When I've accomplished this... then maybe I'll start seeking that ray of sunshine again. When there's a level of stability in my life that makes it easier for me to maintain that ray of sunshine without being greedy. I'm greedy because I'm unhappy. Stability will make me happy. It's what I *NEED* the most in my life.

Sorry for the mopey, less attitude hatred toward the world blog you got from me today. I promise plenty more shenanigans in the future. :)

\May the odds be ever in your favor!

Cinch Day Two

So I started day two of my five day cleanse. Surprisingly, I was not near as hungry yesterday as I thought I'd be. I'm very anxious for the end of this so I can weigh in. I'll post beginning and ending dates afterward.

I must admit, I've grown rather bored of raspberries really quickly. One cup of raspberries four times a day is exhausting. NOT TO MENTION extremely costly! I get a cup and a half of raspberries for five bucks. Which means I'd be spending 50 dollars alone on raspberries for five days!!!

So, today I switched it up a little bit. I tried not to stray too far because I want this to be effective. So I bought some blueberries and strawberries to throw into the mix. 

Still, I miss salt. My eggs were terribly bland this morning. But I'll make do. Only four days (including today) left to go!

Cinch Diet!

Sorry it's been so long since I posted! I forgot about my little Blog. :(

So, I am reintroducing my blog starting with a diet I am start tomorrow. If you haven't heard of it, the Cinch Diet is a fairly new fad diet that seems to give great results. I'm not doing the full diet-- I'm doing the Fast Forward Cleansing portion of it. It's a five day program designed to reset your taste buds and give you a kick start to eating healthy.

So here's the deal-- I get to eat five foods, and ONLY five foods for the next five days (with a few minor exceptions). My calorie count will be just about 1500 a day. Here's what I get to eat each day: 

Breakfast- 1 egg scrambled with 1 cup of spinach. 1 cup raspberries and 2 T slivered almonds on the side.

Lunch- Yogurt parfait made with 6 oz Greek yogurt, 1 cup raspberries, 2 T slivered almonds, and nutmeg and cinnamon (the exceptions).

Dinner- Spinach salad. 2 cups baby spinach, 1 cup raspberries, 2 T slivered almonds, 1 hard boiled egg.              Dressing made using the juice of one tangerine, 1 T balsalmic vinegar, and herbs (more exceptions).

Dessert- Smoothie made with 1 cup raspberries, 6 oz Greek yogurt, 2 T almond butter (exception) and ice.

I'm already willing to bet I'll be sick of raspberries by the end of day 1 and will probably be insanely hungry and bored at the same time the entire five days. ^_^ BUT, I've set a goal of 15 lb loss by Halloween, which should be easy enough.

Here's to a healthier me! And I'll post each day starting tomorrow to update how the diet is working. I'll weigh in tomorrow morning and not touch the scale again till the end of day five.

Cheers! xo

The Defense Of Marriage

As pretty much the entire United States knows by now, the Supreme Court recently ruled the Defense of Marriage Act, which stated a union was solely between a man and a woman, as unconstitutional. This has opened of the possibility of gay marriage eventually becoming nationally legal. Obviously, this has stirred a lot of debate and conflict through out the nation. 

Here's where I stand-- I don't care who you love. I don't care who you marry. I don't care who you kiss. I don't care who you bed. As long as you are happy.WHY should anyone care who someone else gives their heart to? It has NOTHING to do with you. It's not hurting you. 

Fine, if you find it gross or whatever-- then don't do it. But don't be hateful toward those involved. They are not asking you to "be gay" with them. They are not forcing their views upon the "straight folk." They just want to be happy, like everyone else. Why can't we just allow that in peace? Why must society try to destroy every little speck of sunshine because it's not that they personally agree with?

You want to ban gay marriage? Why not ban interracial marriage while you're at it? How about unattractive people marrying extremely attractive people? Since when did love become based on appearances? Do you think love cares what people look like? Do you think love cares what gender you are? Love happens. That's just the way it is.

For those who think being gay is a choice-- I'm sure these people have chosen to be shunned by their families. I'm sure they chose to be beaten up. They chose to be made fun of and bullied. Yes... because that's the life any person would gladly choose. I think not. It is not a choice-- it's who they are. Get over it. They're not asking YOU to change. They're not asking YOU to be gay because they disagree with being straight. Can't you pay them the same respect?

There are dozens of levels of sexuality-- but I'll save that for another blog, another day. ;)

In conclusion, this goes out to the religious sects claiming that the LGBT community will all burn in Hell. Firstly, from a Christian point of view (because I am a Christian), yes the Bible says homosexuality is a sin. But according the Bible, so is divorce. So is greed. So is BITTERNESS. Among thousands of others. All things we as people are daily guilty of. So if sinning condemns us to Hell, there is not a soul that will not burn.  God is forgiving. God loves everyone, no matter what. So don't sit there and say arrogant comments like "God hates gays." God does not hate. The Bible also says "love thy neighbor." You will be the one who is questioned on judgement day-- not the girl next door who married another woman. Do not treat people like garbage-- let everyone go about their own business, and you go about yours. 

As a proper Christian, I was raised to accept everyone as they are.  Is this the example you wish to set for your children? "They are bad people because they are in love and it doesn't fit the social standard." Or should you be teaching them to walk in God's shadow?  I'm raising my daughter to accept people as they are.

And last I checked, we lived in a free country. If so many are willing to allow the government to decide who can and cannot be married, there's no telling what will come next. 

What's Wrong With Society?

You know what's wrong with society? Way too damn much.

Selfishness. Racism & prejudice. Ignorance. Youth violence. Rape. Hypocrisy. Abuse. Homelessness.

I try to remind myself day to day that there are more good people in this world than bad people. But it only gets more difficult each day. I despise the world my child is growing up in. I only hope that she will be one of the people to make the world a better place. I know that sounds cliche, but people have got to realize, OUR CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE! What you raise today, whether it be angels, hell raisers, respectful, hateful, or whatever... that's what's going to be running the place tomorrow. Your child could make or break someone or a group of someones. Shouldn't we be focusing on raising our children to be good people? All the major problems with society are a product of raising!

Here's where I'm going to piss off some people.

Our "free country" is trying to take away our rights to discipline our children. All of these activists and anti-abuse societies are so... so... WRONG! There's a huge difference between a spanking and a beating, but try telling CPS that. If you so much as swat your child's hand with a witness, be warned... they'll be at your door in the blink of an eye! I got swatted enough times as a kid and guess what? I turned out perfectly fine. (Some people may debate that. Shut your mouth! LOL) You know what it did for me? It got my attention. And I assure you I respect my Momma like she's the Queen.

Here's another thing-- FOLLOW THROUGH. If you tell your kid not to do something or else... and they do it, you better do that "or else!" Because you know what happens? They learn real quick that Mommy and Daddy are a push-over. They know your threats are empty so they're just gonna keep on trucking and doing whatever their little hearts desire. If you don't teach them while they're young, they're going to grow up walking all over you.

DON'T GIVE IN! Yes, I know the whining and crying is annoying. And "Mom Mommy Mom Mother Mom Mom Mom!" drives you insane... but you CAN'T GIVE IN! If you give in, there's Mommy the push-over again! Kids are smart. They know if they whine enough, they'll get there way.

I'm not lying when I say ninety percent of the time, it takes only one "no" for my daughter to quit asking. Occasionally, she persists. But I don't give in. She doesn't win and she knows she won't ever win with me. She's spoiled but she's not rotten.

EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN. I'm not just talking about school. I teach her every day about how we can't have everything we want. She knows there are starving children in the world. She knows there are homeless people in the world. She knows there are some men who love men and some women who love women. She understands everyone is different. She knows there are bad people in the world. She also tries a food she doesn't like every time I make it because I taught her that her taste buds will change as she grows up. She offered to buy a crying girl a doll at the store the other day with her own money because she didn't want to see her unhappy. She's one of the most selfless people I know... and she's only six. The possibilities are endless.

Before someone explodes about how all kids are different... I know. Maybe this won't work with every kid. I've only got one, myself, so I don't know. But you can't give in to their demands. YOU are the parent, not them. This is true no matter how many kids you have. You chose to bring them in to this world, and it's your choice on how to raise them. Do it right. Teach them to be good people. Teach them it's okay to cry. It's okay to lose. It's okay to not have it all. It's okay to be different. They need a parent, not a friend.

It's OKAY. I've got your back. :) And so will your kids. They'll thank you when they're older.